I am back on the rails.

Another planet in another corner of the Multiverse — from one of zillions-gorillions of dimensions.

And here? A total Hot Mess Express.

I was sitting in my rented apartment with an unfortunate medium-sized cup of tea and a plate of something that looked like lunch after a small hurricane.

Suddenly — there was a loud whistle.

Then I rail-ized: a train was approaching… from the corridor.

The next gigasecond, a full-size kuku-loco-motive rushed past my nose.

It almost took my slippers. Fortunately, not my toes.

Now I saw it — rails from corridor to corridor, crossing the living room.

What in the rails?!

I stepped outside for the first time.

The city was built entirely on train tracks. Sleepers everywhere.

On my walk, I found a small park next to a tunnel entrance. Among the trees — a pillow, blanket, suitcase, and a man deep asleep, producing sound like a a heavy train.

“Oh my, he’s sleeping on the track-bed!” I hurried to wake him.

— What are you doing? It’s train-gerous (translation from my language to theires)!

The man, in fine pajamas and a rosy robe, adjusted his professor-style glasses.

— Not dangerous, my good fellow. Everything is according to the best security practice here.

He explained: everyone has the train schedule, the alarm system that warns of approaching trains, and the insurance that ensures one’s life is properly insured. “I could have slept another 384 trainominutes if you hadn’t woken me.”

As we talked, he told me about the planet’s leader: El Traino Formidable — in power for… well, let’s say a very long time.

Adored by all. Successor to President Choo-Choo. The whole planet is his sandbox, and trains are his toys.

All planet wealth goes to the railways.

His motto is: Jobs for everyone, life in motion, society on the railway to Local Haven.

Apartments are rare here, but sleeping on a train? Pure luxury. And El Traino offers both.

And, of course, enemies — so El Traino need to hide in his rail-palaces.

I checked the facts later: train-caused fatalities were off the charts.

The economy was going downhill like… well, a train going downhill.

99.999% of planetarians slept on the railways.

None of this was in their best interest. Yet they adored and defended this man — most likely a plain-vanilla person who had simply won the life lottery and playing trains and lives.

What motivates them to protect this madness?

What are their motives?

Loco-motives.